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 Funny Jokes

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KilLA
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PostSubject: Funny Jokes   Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:12 pm

Here are a few jokes that I thought were pretty funny, if you know any post em up.


A guy walks INTO a
psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the
doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's
wrong?"

The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman "Can I smell your cunt?"
"Fuck off, no you can't smell my cunt!" the woman yells back at him,
"Oh" he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet
then".



______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A little girl goes to see Santa Clause at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits
down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little
girl?". "I want a Barbie and a GI Joe" says the little girl. "But
Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says, "No, Barbie only 'cums' with GI
Joe!"

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

TOP 10
REASONS WHY SOME MEN FAVOR HANDGUNS OVER WOMEN


10 - YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN
YOU'RE
ON THE ROAD.

8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL
PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.

7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN
FOR A BACK UP.

6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.

5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.

4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.

3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK
FAT?"

2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.

1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.[/size]
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:26 am

Rodeo Position
Two guys in a bar are discussing "positions" so one tells the other, "Well my favorite is the rodeo!"

and the other says, "What's the rodeo?"

"well, first you get your wife down and start to do her doggy style, then when you're halfway done, you bend over and whisper in her ear, 'you know, this is your sister's favorite position too' and then try to hold on for 8 seconds!"




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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:05 am

Dark wrote:
Rodeo Position
Two guys in a bar are discussing "positions" so one tells the other, "Well my favorite is the rodeo!"

and the other says, "What's the rodeo?"

"well, first you get your wife down and start to do her doggy style, then when you're halfway done, you bend over and whisper in her ear, 'you know, this is your sister's favorite position too' and then try to hold on for 8 seconds!"





Lol I think ive heard that one before, still funny.
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l3uLLeT-Pl2ooF_
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Wed Apr 22, 2009 6:56 pm

haha, i dont have any perverted jokes but i do have some fabulous pick up lines



.....Im not fred flinstone but i can make ur bed rock (dont recommend using it)

Can i take a picture of u to prove to my friends that angels really do exist......

"Did it hurt", "When?", the day that u fell from heaven...............

do u shine ur pants with windex cause i can really see myself in them......

my pants ripped, can i get into yours?.........



http://www.pickuphelp.com/

thats a site that can help you single guys get girls......*cough*JewBag*cogh*


LMAO
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:38 pm

DeAdIy_ChAos wrote:
haha, i dont have any perverted jokes but i do have some fabulous pick up lines



.....Im not fred flinstone but i can make ur bed rock (dont recommend using it)

Can i take a picture of u to prove to my friends that angels really do exist......

"Did it hurt", "When?", the day that u fell from heaven...............

do u shine ur pants with windex cause i can really see myself in them......

my pants ripped, can i get into yours?.........



http://www.pickuphelp.com/

thats a site that can help you single guys get girls......*cough*JewBag*cogh*


LMAO

lol it will help keep girls away is more like it.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Wed Apr 22, 2009 9:06 pm

lmao Deadly keeps playing with fire and he is going to get burned lol
funny shit...a 13 yrd old bullying a JewBag

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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Thu Apr 23, 2009 12:08 am

Dark wrote:
lmao Deadly keeps playing with fire and he is going to get burned lol
funny shit...a 13 yrd old bullying a JewBag


lol
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Sat Apr 25, 2009 8:58 am

i think the jewbwg is ignoring me..........lol
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Sat Apr 25, 2009 8:59 am

KilLA wrote:
DeAdIy_ChAos wrote:
haha, i dont have any perverted jokes but i do have some fabulous pick up lines



.....Im not fred flinstone but i can make ur bed rock (dont recommend using it)

Can i take a picture of u to prove to my friends that angels really do exist......

"Did it hurt", "When?", the day that u fell from heaven...............

do u shine ur pants with windex cause i can really see myself in them......

my pants ripped, can i get into yours?.........



http://www.pickuphelp.com/

thats a site that can help you single guys get girls......*cough*JewBag*cogh*


LMAO

lol it will help keep girls away is more like it.


well jewbag didnt have a chance anyway.........
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Sat Apr 25, 2009 1:50 pm

Stop flooding the fkn forums!!!
Every 2 mins I check you post on the same topic or you just add useless commments like "yea" or "lol"

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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:55 pm

Dark wrote:
Stop flooding the fkn forums!!!
Every 2 mins I check you post on the same topic or you just add useless commments like "yea" or "lol"


alright man, i get it, no need to be a duchefag..... ban me from the fucking forumns for all i care.... i actually have a life outside of gaming and posting on the forums is something i do after i get inside from running or something else....so really, i dont give a shit

that was a little off topic anyway, but ok i get it and my post will be of more meaning from now on afro
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:13 pm

Heres a few more funny jokes I just read....lol

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a
camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master
makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says,
"I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box
of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least your
master doesn't put a bag over your head and make you do push ups
until you throw up!"
__________________________________________________________________________

A man and a woman started to have sex in the
middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man
finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a
flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating
grass for the past ten minutes!"

__________________________________________________________________________

On their first night together, a newlywed
couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom
showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says,
"My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The
beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh,
oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful,
let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?"
He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my
heart forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the
bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife
asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At
that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY,
let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers,
"So I can get it enlarged!"



If you know any good ones post em up
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:39 am

What do 9 out of 10 people like?














........a gang rape.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:43 am

K0CKULEES wrote:
What do 9 out of 10 people like?














........a gang rape.


lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:07 am

looking through demotivate us and here's some funny ones


[url=http://www.demotivateus.c

this one is awesome:


Funny Pictures



[url=http://www.demotivateus.com]Demotivate Us




[url=http://www.demotivateus.com]Funny Forum Pictures
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:15 pm

Lol, I actually feel bad for that guy in the first pic....He will probably never get a good piece of ass.
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Sun Jun 07, 2009 7:30 pm

This made me laugh: Hitler Downfall/L4D2 protest
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:51 am

GeoMars wrote:
This made me laugh: Hitler Downfall/L4D2 protest

I never realised Hitler was such a hardcore gamer....He was pissed Twisted Evil lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:12 am














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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:25 pm

Haha I really hope that pic of who wants to be a millionaire is a fake, if not that bitch has some serious problems geek
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PostSubject: Re: Funny Jokes   Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:40 pm

saw this on news today and couldn't stop laughing, this video is even better because the guy rewinds it and puts some thought bubbles in there: